"Fear is a luxury you can no longer afford."

I’m not sure how many know this, but I’m pretty sure that most of my friends & clients are aware that, in addition to real estate, I work a small part-time job as a call center agent for American Airlines…a job I’ve had for a few years now. It has provided my family the critical benefit of staying in close contact no matter the miles between us. I sort of have a love/hate relationship with this job and I would be lying if I said that I maintained a positive attitude whenever I have to drive into work…especially this year, as I have seen my work get increasingly more difficult. My job is to solve traveler’s problems, hear their complaints, find solutions and try to serve them to the best of my ability. I’m smack in the middle of the busiest travel time of the year and the time of greatest anxiety and diminished patience for the traveling public. The week of Thanksgiving is one of the most ironic weeks of the year! People tend to be the most demanding, the least gracious, the most impatient, disgruntled and hard to please…as they prepare for Thanksgiving. This irony never fails to make an impact on me. I hear things like, “I demand that you do”…”I will not hang up till I get”…”that is not acceptable to me”….and so on, and so on.

Now, please don’t misunderstand…I am NOT defending the air travel industry here! Believe me, I know what a lost bag feels like (never to be found, I might add). I know what it’s like to miss the family gathering or memorable moment and I have felt the same frustration of being rudely treated and downright inconvenienced. So I’m not preaching here because I am as guilty as the next guy. But today is Thanksgiving and I thought I’d pass along a little encouragement by sharing the perspective of the Apostle Paul who certainly endured much more than a lost bag at the airport. He shares in Phil 4:11-13, “…I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.”

Wherever we find ourselves this Thanksgiving…whether gathered with family or stuck with strangers at the airport and whatever we find on the menu…whether a full turkey feast or a bag of trail-mix while stranded on the runway…I hope we remember the words of Paul. I hope we enjoy a true sense of inner peace and gratitude for the life we have been given. The circumstances we find ourselves in don’t ensure our happiness. True happiness and joy comes from something deeper. I believe it comes from some One. And this year…I’m more thankful than ever before…for Him.

So today, instead of sending a simple “Happy Thanksgiving”….I thought I’d wish you a “Contented Thanksgiving” which will inevitably make it happy as well.

Slow Dance by David Weatherford–

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain
Slapping the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.
Don’t dance too fast.

Time is short.
The music won’t last.

Do you run through the each day
On the fly?

When you ask: How are you?
Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done,
Do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?

You’d better slow down.
Don’t dance too fast.

Time is short.
The music won’t last.

Ever told your child,
We’ll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die

Cause you never had time
To call and say, “Hi”?

You’d better slow down.
Don’t dance too fast.

Time is short.
The music won’t last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an upopened gift thrown away.

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower.

Hear the music
Before the song is over.

It makes no sense to swim out to the middle, then turn back because you believe you can’t make it to the other side! The past few months have felt like a slow treading against the tide…trying to reach a specific destination. Like most endeavors, there is the warming up…the launch…the adrenaline…and the anticipation of reaching the goal. But also like most big endeavors, there is that moment when you’ve only traveled a quarter of the way and you begin to tire of the journey. With each stroke, it becomes more and more difficult to stay optimistic that you can make it and doubt begins to settle in. Upon reaching the half way mark you are faced a crucial decision: do you continue or do you turn back? The funny thing about this crossroads is how often people (me included) talk themselves into retreat. For some reason…the commitment to continue is just too scary. We think we can’t do it…that we never should’ve started…that we were foolish to try. Then we proceed to do the most foolish thing of all. We turn around, and swim all the way back! The same distance…the same effort…the same time…but with a far different result! This truly makes no sense at all. By turning around our direction, we turn around our dreams as well and end up with less than what we had to begin with. Better to believe. Believe you can succeed. Believe you can make it and you’ll soon realize that the other side isn’t as far away as you imagined.

Do you ever feel like you are traveling at 20 mph and the world is clocking around 60? I’m just getting around to the full integration of email on my smartphone and now it’s all about video and facetime. Well…there is no use in digging in one’s heels and refusing to adapt to the new technological age as the world simply doesn’t care–and has no policy in place– to wait for the slow to catch up. If you don’t get integrated…you become disconnected. But what if you miss the old fashioned things like the hand-written note…or reading real books with paper pages? What did we do before navigators and even cell phones? I am not old. I am only 42 and I remember my parents getting a TV when I was about 17. We thought it was so modern because it had a remote control….that was attached by a long cord to the set! I remember when email first came on the scene in a mainstream way. So much has changed in such a short time! In many ways we are better off with the myriad of devices that bring convenience into our lives. But in many ways we are not. Conversation is a lost art. Now we just need to know a few abbreviated words in order to text our brief messages. Now we just need to click a “like” button to share our approval and support with others. Actual communication is rare and it’s hard to find someone who still possesses the fine skill of personal interaction, personal encouragement and personal connection. In this new world of “social” networking, I hope we remember that one or two true and devoted friends are far more valuable than the hundreds of casual acquaintances we connect with in our virtual worlds. Don’t get me wrong, there is a place for “posts” and “tweets”…but I for one hope there will always be a place for deep relationships that stand the test of time…take serious effort to build…and require sacrifice and true commitment. When I’m old and gray I hope that I have the warmth of a loved one next to me in my final years, versus the coldness of a laptop or “i”device connecting me to a world that is “virtually” nearby…yet in reality…so far away.

Is it just me, or is anyone else overwhelmed with the number of Valentine’s Day cards that we all have to choose from? How is it that the hundreds of cards in the card aisle still just don’t seem to say the right thing? How can there be hundreds of ways to say “I love you” to someone…and yet none of them seem to sound right? Maybe it’s because most of us are struggling with the same thing. We have been taught to love ourselves…not another person. That’s so old-fashioned now. The definition of love has been so distorted over the years that it’s hardly recognizable any more. What used to be reserved for “others” is now centered on self. We used to teach our kids to put others first…now we teach them to put themselves first. We used to teach our kids to give of themselves for another person. Now, our kids are taught to demand what they want and to not take “no” for an answer. We used to consider humility an admirable quality. Now, society seems to praise and worship the most arrogant among us. We exalt a proud person as someone to be worshiped and emulated. Wow…how backward things have become. Well..someone needs to get the message to Hallmark, because they seem to be behind the times! No wonder there are so many cards left on the shelf. I imagine that most people just feel uncomfortable with such “sub-serviant” messages. We can hardly stomach to say things we see written down. It sounds too humbling…too caring…too giving…or too this…or too that. Things if, we were truly honest, we know we are often too selfish to say.  If I was CEO of “Card Messaging, Inc.”, I think I would try the new spin. How would people like to come face to face with a Valentine Card that truly said it like it was. Something like:

Dear Valentine,

I wanted you to know, especially today, just how great a person I truly am and how thankful you should be that I am in your life. Today of all days, I thought you should know what I expect of you. Today you should remember to wake up thinking only of me and as you move through your day…remember to prefer me at every turn. Give me everything I want. Make me feel like I am the center of your world and then maybe…just maybe…I might say Thank You for loving me as much as I think I deserve.

Yours (for as long as I feel it’s best for me)~

Well…it’s just a thought. I was just wondering if anyone else was as tired with the myriad of messages that no longer seem to be true? I guess that’s why the “blank card” section seems to grow larger and larger each year. Maybe this year we will stop the self-absorption just long enough to think about the people in our life. Maybe this year, we can lay down our own desires long enough to consider those we claim to love. Maybe…just maybe…we will all find cards at Target that say what we truly feel.

Thankfulness. To be full of thanks. Today is the one day of the year where we give it a label and call it Thanksgiving Day. This should be a day where we are giving thanks for the fullness of blessing we enjoy. So what about yesterday? Let me see…I complained about several things and probably about more than I can even recollect. I know I complained about not having enough time when I woke up at 5:30am. I complained that I had to get up because I didn’t have enough help and then proceeded to complain about the work that I had to do. I complained about not having enough coffee when I rushed out the door. I complained about my car not running at optimum performance as I raced to my appointment for which I was late. I complained about the weather which (I think) was a near perfect 70 degrees or so…but alas, I forgot just one extra layer…a thin one…to take the chill off of the slightest breeze that may be a degree or two too cold for me. At the completion of my appointment, I complained that my office was about 15 minutes further than I wished it to be and when I arrived, I complained that I had missed lunch. About an hour or so later, I was feeling hungrier than I was comfortable with, so I complained that a pouch of instant oatmeal would have to do. I later discovered a container of sugar cookies in the office kitchen and proceeded to complain that I was about 8 pounds too heavy to really eat the cookies without guilt. I ate two cookies anyway…and then complained that I just didn’t have enough self-discipline to stop myself. After working at the office for a few hours more, I complained that I still had a few hours more to go…and no other Agents were in the office except me. Why should I still have to be here working the night before Thanksgiving? How ironic. By the time I left the office, I complained that it was so late and I was so tired and I was so sad and I was so depressed and….on and on all the way home. I am ashamed at this pitiful display of my lacking character. I am truly not thankful and that is unforgiveable. For all that I have, for all that God has given, for all that I don’t deserve, for all that I enjoy….I should be thankoverflowing! Well, today is a new day. Today is a new chance to try again. Today I will strive to be thankful and not complain. For I have nothing to complain about! Nothing, nada, zip, zero! I want to start over and be different…not just today…but tomorrow too. I pray that God will work in my heart and help me to say as Paul said in Philippians 4:11-13–”for I have learned to be content in whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.” This was written by a man in prison. A man who had been beaten, tortured, shipwrecked, hungry, homeless and so many other things that I have never experienced nor will likely even come close! This man knew what he was talking about. When he says “whether well fed or hungry”…he means it! For me, I can only truly say…”whether overfed or full…or slightly uncomfortable”. I cannot say hungry because I don’t think I know the true meaning of the word. When Paul says, “living in plenty or in want”…he knows what that means too. Do I understand what it is to truly be in want? Being in “want” does NOT mean wanting the cute jacket on sale at the store. It does NOT mean wanting a new computer when the old one works just fine. It does NOT mean wanting this or wanting that. It means not having what you need. Have I ever been without something I truly needed that day? No. God has always richly supplied. So, let’s revisit. This is how my day should have gone. Lord, thank you for this beautiful morning when all is quiet and peaceful. Thank you for my coffee maker and the coffee in my cabinet. Thank you for the new client that is trusting me to help them sell their home in this difficult market. Thank you that I have the opportunity to work! Thank you for having another client as well, wanting me to help them buy! Wow…two people to work for today…thank you so much! Thank you for my little car that gets incredible gas mileage and is still running well after all the miles I have racked up. Thank you for such gracious people who didn’t mind at all that I was ten minutes late. Thank you that I have an office to drive to. Thank you that it’s only 40 minutes away and not two hours! (Though if it was…I should be thankful for that too. Many people have no office to go to today and are praying for work.) Thank you for the perfect weather, the incredible sunshine and gentle breeze. Thank you for the rich color of the leaves all around me. Thank you for the food that I had saved at my office…ready to eat…and yes, thank you for the cookies too! Thank you for my husband who came to the office to help me and stayed all the same hours and then drove home to cook a meal fit for the finest restaurant…even though it was 10pm at night! Thank you for my kids who never complained…not once…about not having anything “fun” to do and patiently waiting for dinner. Thank you for the home we have, the abundance of food and clothing and a myriad of things we don’t need…just enjoy. So many things. I could go on and on. But most of all, thank you for undeserved grace and forgiveness…for second chances and for today…a day to truly give thanks. Help me to get at least half-way there and be “thankful-at-least-a-little-bit”! Hopefully one day I will grow enough to say I was truly thankFULL for one whole day. A day without one complaint. A day of true thanksgiving.

There is a great quote from Seth Godin- “Quit the wrong stuff. Stick with the right stuff. Have the guts to do one or the other.” Someone just asked me what things made a difference in my business this year. It’s tough out there to be sure. It requires more commitment, more hours, more dedication, more of everything to hang in there. If you have another opportunity that’s easier…more attractive…that you’d rather do…then do that! But if you don’t have an option to quit…if you have no other path to choose…and you really want to make it in this business…then you can’t afford to give up. It’s easy to get discouraged and when that happens, it’s easy to get “lost” on what to do. So I asked myself what the “right stuff” was that has helped this year and decided to make a list. It’s very basic. It’s not brilliant or eye-opening and it’s not comprehensive. It’s just what I know I must do to stay on track. I Must:

1. Get up early. If I don’t, then I feel mentally defeated all day..trying to play catch up.
2. Have a daily schedule. I need to know where to put my days activities…which “time-block” to assign things to.
3. Get a List. This is a list of people I need to call or connect with. It can be written down, in Top Producer or other CRM system, an ”expireds” list, a neighborhood list…whoever I need to follow up with. I need to prepare the day before so I am ready.
4. Get in contact! This is exactly what it sounds like. Get on the phone in most cases. Connect on Facebook or send a text. There are lots of ways to have a conversation with someone. Just make sure you are.
5. Get everyone I know & meet in the database and assign an action plan. I like Top Producer but there are many to choose from. Just pick one you will use everyday. If you forget to follow up, then all your work is lost. Use a system that will remind you!
6. Get a Sucess Tracker (or a way to measure progress). Use a spreadsheet, a ”4.1.1″ or chicken scratches in a planner. Know where you are at all times. You can’t just “set appointments” as they come. You have to know how many you need and make sure you get to that number.
7. Get a Business Plan. Write it down in a simple form and keep it with you. This goes hand in hand with a Success Tracker. The Plan tells you the goal, the Tracker tells you where you are and how far you need to go. Keeping this at top of mind is more important than you realize.
8. Get focused on the main thing. The main thing in our business is Leads. Without them, everything else is irrelevant.
9. Get 5-7 sources of Leads. Identify the sources that “fit” you. The ones you will work consistently. At the end of the year track all your listings and closings and calculate which sources are your best. Focus most of your energy on your top 3. Don’t drop the others (unless they don’t produce anything) but focus on your strongest strategies. If you hate Open Houses…don’t choose that one. If you are great with people and like events…plan events and invite your database. I learned this from Danielle Kennedy and it has proven to be true. If you only focus on one source and that source dries up for a time…then you have to have other “plates” spinning to keep a steady stream.
10. Get Action Plans set up for each source. Know what you are going to do to capture and convert the leads that you receive. This is time-consuming up front if you want to build custom campaigns but I think it’s worth it. Don’t come across “canned” to anyone who comes your way. An 8×8 campaign will look different for a Seller who calls from a postcard, than it will for a Buyer who calls off a flyer. One size doesn’t fit all.
11. Get personal. Get a blog…get a Facebook…get a “network”…just get some friends! Keep meeting people and then work to meet the people who they know. Relationships are viral.
12. Get help. I don’t take this advice as well as I need to. I am so bad about just doing it all myself. But that is a sure path to burn-out. (Believe me) So, Nancy…get some help!
13. Get real. Have a personal conversation about the cost this business requires. Ask yourself if you are willing to pay the price. Ask yourself if you can. And it’s OK if you can’t right now. If your husband is terminally ill, your family needs you, your kids need you, your parents need you…whatever it is…that’s ok. Determine where you truly need to be right now. (I can tell you, 15 years ago…or even 10 years ago, I wouldn’t be able to commit to this career.) But if the answer for you right now is…supporting your family or getting out of debt, or building for retirement or whatever it is…then stay committed to the course.
14. Get out of envy. The ”envy or jealousy” trap is just that…a trap that keeps you preoccupied with everyone else and distracts you from doing what you need to be doing. Competition can be motivating…but only to a point. If you take it too far, then you can become bitter and others will notice. And no one wants to be around a bitter person…including potential clients. 
15. And then…get eyes off of Self. Just like no one likes a bitter person…no one likes an arrogant person either. Don’t brag & boast about all the great things that might be happening to you. This isn’t kind or sensitive. Besides, pride comes before a fall and this business is too fluid to take it for granted. Think about how you feel when you are struggling and someone swaggers in to your office to tell you all about the 3 new listings they just got. Remember that and spare others the same feeling.
16. Get right…right now. Analyze this past year and determine what’s working well and what’s broken. Fix it now. Don’t wait for Jan. 1st. Do it now. Start working for closed transactions in the first two months of the year. It’s easy in November to simply coast to what feels like the “finish” line….December 31st. But remember, just 24 hours separates one year from the other so there really is no break.

This is not a “dabble” business. This isn’t a part-time job. This is one of the most demanding careers you can choose but it’s also one of the most rewarding. If you love it as much as I do…then give it all you’ve got. Be thankful for the opportunity to work and then focus on the activity instead of the results. The results will only show up as a result of the effort you’ve invested. They won’t show up because your staring down the road waiting for them to arrive. Don’t be like the guy who drives around and around the parking lot waiting for the space at the front to open up. Go ahead and park the car and get out and start walking. Chances are  you will pass by the idle car and beat him to the door anyway. And even if you don’t, you will be in much better shape. The practice will prepare you for the next step and you will be able to take advantage of the new opportunities that are waiting for you. I can keep writing more things…but I will save them for another post. I’m sure your coffee is cold by now!

Don’t Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you are trudging seems all uphill;

When the funds are low and the debts are high

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh;

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Success is failure turned inside out;

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.

And you can never tell how close you are…

It may be near when it seems afar.

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–

It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit!

There is one thing that I definitely don’t like. I don’t like uncertainty. I don’t really care for surprises and I don’t particularly like the unfamiliar. I am most at home with restaurants I’ve visited before…streets I’ve driven down a million times…a predictable schedule that I know I can count on and relationships with those I know I can trust. When I analyze the reason I’m this way…it comes down to security. I like to “feel” secure. But I’m learning that the “feeling” of security can have absolutely nothing to do with the reality of the ways things truly are. Many people choose steady jobs over sales for this very reason. They want the predictable paycheck…an income they can count on. But more and more are finding out that there is no true job security and folks can be “downsized” anytime the company decides it’s in the best interest of the company. When thinking about the uncertainty of the economy and the world of real estate, it’s easy to get that uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. The feeling that lingers over your thoughts when you lay on your bed at night…wondering if you’ve just been lucky so far. Uncertainty is a feeling that feeds on doubt. I have learned over the years of being self-employed (not always by my choice) that the true value of working for oneself, is the ability to control the one thing that matters most. The decision you make to work. If you “work” for someone else, then you lose that control. You are at the mercy of someone else telling you whether or not you CAN work today. To me…that brings a much higher level of risk. Think about it. When I wake up…it’s my choice whether or not to work hard. I’m not worried about whether someone else will give me permission! I have also learned from John Maxwell that it’s the steady effort of work over time…that brings results. I may not see the results I’m looking for in one given day…but over time…the results prove the effort invested. This truth is pictured in the well known parable of the sower and the seed. What you sow…you WILL reap. If you sow lazy habits…you will reap lazy results. If you sow your efforts sporadically…you will reap income in sporadic intervals. If you sow diligently…this also will produce a dependable harvest. So if you have been comfortable in a job and now find yourself unemployed…this does NOT mean you are out of work. If you have enjoyed a steady sales income in the past and now find yourself without clients…this does NOT mean you are out of work. If you have built a company from the ground up and now find that the board has voted you out of the leadership of your own company…again…you are NOT out of work! No…none of us are out of work…unless we decide we don’t want to or are physically prohibited from doing so. In most cases…it’s our choice. No need to feel insecure or uncertain…since we are still in control of our own choices! If you are feeling lost and doubting yourself…make a new choice today. Choose to work. Choose to work hard. Choose to work hard and move forward! When you are moving forward you will be less likely to give in to the temptation to waste time. You will want to make wiser decisions that will help your momentum. If you sit on the side…and wonder…doubt…wish…worry…complain…blame…or gripe, you will feed the doubt that will cause your uncertainty to grow. And with good reason. If you are feeling uncertain…ask yourself if you are working. Ask yourself if it’s really your circumstances that are causing your doubt…or if it’s your own lack of determination. There are no easy answers these days. There are no quick and easy results. The “easy” money doesn’t exist. Only the tried and true can be trusted. Don’t fall victim to the common thought that “you have no choice”. You can choose your direction. You can choose the narrow road that often has steep inclines…or you can choose the wide open plain with picnic tables every 20 feet! Get it clear in your own heart and mind and understand…”your value of time must be stronger than the temptation to waste it!” So get up…get going…and get focused. Walk past the picnic table under the shade tree and head for the mountain. It may be a steep climb…but you will reap the benefits that only a few are determined enough to fight for.

Often I sit at my computer…wondering what to write about…and my mind typically drifts toward topics that have to do with perspective. Mindset is so important. How we think affects the outcome of so many things. So I thought I might share just a few of the affirmations that have been most helpful to me this year. I rehearse them while driving and often think of new ones to add to the list. But these are my tried and true. The faithful sayings that always steer me back on track.

• I have courage that controls my fear
• I have confidence that is stronger than my insecurity
• I have beliefs that are more powerful than my doubts
• I control my emotions and ground them in faith
• I control my thoughts and ground them in truth
• I serve from integrity…not selfish ambition
• I have genuine character that is more solid than the veneer of self-protection
• I have a clear vision of my priorities and the path to reach my goals
• I have intentional focus that protects me from distraction
• I appreciate discipline more than I desire leisure
• My value of time is deeper than the temptation to waste it
• I believe there is more treasure found on the road less traveled…than on the path of least resistance
• When I’m tired…I press on
• When I fail…I move forward
• When I fall…I get up
• When I succeed…I change my goal so as not to become conceited or complacent
• I’m growing as a person and striving to become the best that I can be.

I hope there is something in there that might be of use to you too. I may try to expand on some of them in future posts as there is usually a story behind the saying that initiated the affirmation in the first place!