"Fear is a luxury you can no longer afford."

Don’t Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you are trudging seems all uphill;

When the funds are low and the debts are high

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh;

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Success is failure turned inside out;

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.

And you can never tell how close you are…

It may be near when it seems afar.

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–

It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit!

There is one thing that I definitely don’t like. I don’t like uncertainty. I don’t really care for surprises and I don’t particularly like the unfamiliar. I am most at home with restaurants I’ve visited before…streets I’ve driven down a million times…a predictable schedule that I know I can count on and relationships with those I know I can trust. When I analyze the reason I’m this way…it comes down to security. I like to “feel” secure. But I’m learning that the “feeling” of security can have absolutely nothing to do with the reality of the ways things truly are. Many people choose steady jobs over sales for this very reason. They want the predictable paycheck…an income they can count on. But more and more are finding out that there is no true job security and folks can be “downsized” anytime the company decides it’s in the best interest of the company. When thinking about the uncertainty of the economy and the world of real estate, it’s easy to get that uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. The feeling that lingers over your thoughts when you lay on your bed at night…wondering if you’ve just been lucky so far. Uncertainty is a feeling that feeds on doubt. I have learned over the years of being self-employed (not always by my choice) that the true value of working for oneself, is the ability to control the one thing that matters most. The decision you make to work. If you “work” for someone else, then you lose that control. You are at the mercy of someone else telling you whether or not you CAN work today. To me…that brings a much higher level of risk. Think about it. When I wake up…it’s my choice whether or not to work hard. I’m not worried about whether someone else will give me permission! I have also learned from John Maxwell that it’s the steady effort of work over time…that brings results. I may not see the results I’m looking for in one given day…but over time…the results prove the effort invested. This truth is pictured in the well known parable of the sower and the seed. What you sow…you WILL reap. If you sow lazy habits…you will reap lazy results. If you sow your efforts sporadically…you will reap income in sporadic intervals. If you sow diligently…this also will produce a dependable harvest. So if you have been comfortable in a job and now find yourself unemployed…this does NOT mean you are out of work. If you have enjoyed a steady sales income in the past and now find yourself without clients…this does NOT mean you are out of work. If you have built a company from the ground up and now find that the board has voted you out of the leadership of your own company…again…you are NOT out of work! No…none of us are out of work…unless we decide we don’t want to or are physically prohibited from doing so. In most cases…it’s our choice. No need to feel insecure or uncertain…since we are still in control of our own choices! If you are feeling lost and doubting yourself…make a new choice today. Choose to work. Choose to work hard. Choose to work hard and move forward! When you are moving forward you will be less likely to give in to the temptation to waste time. You will want to make wiser decisions that will help your momentum. If you sit on the side…and wonder…doubt…wish…worry…complain…blame…or gripe, you will feed the doubt that will cause your uncertainty to grow. And with good reason. If you are feeling uncertain…ask yourself if you are working. Ask yourself if it’s really your circumstances that are causing your doubt…or if it’s your own lack of determination. There are no easy answers these days. There are no quick and easy results. The “easy” money doesn’t exist. Only the tried and true can be trusted. Don’t fall victim to the common thought that “you have no choice”. You can choose your direction. You can choose the narrow road that often has steep inclines…or you can choose the wide open plain with picnic tables every 20 feet! Get it clear in your own heart and mind and understand…”your value of time must be stronger than the temptation to waste it!” So get up…get going…and get focused. Walk past the picnic table under the shade tree and head for the mountain. It may be a steep climb…but you will reap the benefits that only a few are determined enough to fight for.

Often I sit at my computer…wondering what to write about…and my mind typically drifts toward topics that have to do with perspective. Mindset is so important. How we think affects the outcome of so many things. So I thought I might share just a few of the affirmations that have been most helpful to me this year. I rehearse them while driving and often think of new ones to add to the list. But these are my tried and true. The faithful sayings that always steer me back on track.

• I have courage that controls my fear
• I have confidence that is stronger than my insecurity
• I have beliefs that are more powerful than my doubts
• I control my emotions and ground them in faith
• I control my thoughts and ground them in truth
• I serve from integrity…not selfish ambition
• I have genuine character that is more solid than the veneer of self-protection
• I have a clear vision of my priorities and the path to reach my goals
• I have intentional focus that protects me from distraction
• I appreciate discipline more than I desire leisure
• My value of time is deeper than the temptation to waste it
• I believe there is more treasure found on the road less traveled…than on the path of least resistance
• When I’m tired…I press on
• When I fail…I move forward
• When I fall…I get up
• When I succeed…I change my goal so as not to become conceited or complacent
• I’m growing as a person and striving to become the best that I can be.

I hope there is something in there that might be of use to you too. I may try to expand on some of them in future posts as there is usually a story behind the saying that initiated the affirmation in the first place!

When you hear the word…”affirmations”…what do you think? I have to admit that when I first heard about “affirmations”…I didn’t take them seriously. In fact, my first impression was not even positive. I thought of words such as…”mindless brainwashing”…”unrealistic”…”over-inflated self-esteem”. To me, they were something that people who couldn’t face the truth needed in order to cope with reality. I thought the idea was to simply tell yourself the opposite of the truth..until you ended up believing the lie. What I’m learning however, is that the mind functions much like a tape recorder (wow..that makes me sound old!) which plays back over and over what it has been programmed to play. Whether it’s true or not doesn’t matter. The mind will memorize the information and remember the “familiar” streams of thought. So if, for instance, you tell yourself everyday that you you are already out of shape and one more cookie won’t make a difference, then after awhile…the one extra cookie is not even an issue to battle each day (since it doesn’t matter) and the true battle becomes something else…maybe the box of cookies! You now believe that very real truth that “one cookie” will not make the difference in your overall appearance. Well, that’s true. One cookie won’t. But the automatic daily programming of the “one cookie” mentality…leads you down a path where you wake up and realize…that each cookie has added up to the equivalent of “the cookie aisle” at the grocery store! Tonight, I was talking with a friend and fellow agent about a difficult transaction that had frankly brought her to the point of exhaustion and to the point of “concession”…where she didn’t care anymore how it turned out. We talked about how..no matter how much we cared to solve every problem for our clients…in the end…many of our client’s problems are just not ours to fix. Decisions…whether good or bad…have a consequence. We may not see the end result at that moment in time…but trust me, the consequence is very real…and very inevitable. Most of us like to excuse our daily decisions as “no big deal”…just a small thing…everyone else is making the same choice…but we need to stop and think about that just a little bit more. There is a great book entitled, The Slight Edge, that speaks to this. This book is worth reading because it sheds new light on the “slight edge” daily decisions…that erode over time into a destiny. This brings me back to my point about affirmations. I now view affirmations as my “check” over the “slight” excuses that I tell myself…without even realizing it. Instead of viewing affirmations as a way to “brainwash” myself…I now understand that affirmations prevent me from the daily distortions of the truth that will harm me over time. They are a powerful way to combat the temptation to believe whatever thought gets me “off the hook”. So…my affirmations now include statements like, “My value of time is stronger than the tempation to waste it”. This one hits me straight between the eyes…because everyday I find ways to waste time…and each time I have a great excuse! The affirmation isn’t me “lying” to myself…it’s me correcting myself! What I now understand is…my mind already wants to lie to myself…and I need the truth written down and rehearsed…to keep me from following the path I’m bent to travel. My affirmations are written to retrain my mind…to correct my direction. The correct direction may be marked by the roadsign that says, “steep climb ahead”. But that’s my reminder to pause at the fork in the road….and remember my favorite affirmation…”There is more treasure found on the road less traveled…than on the path of least resistance!”

When I’m feeling out of sorts…out of motivation…out of energy…it’s probably because I’m doing too many things that lack real meaning. I’m giving my attention to too much “stuff” and not enough “substance”. I’m trying to simplify. I’m trying to leverage…delegate…or eliminate all together. Gary Keller says, “to live big…you have to get small.” Get narrow…focused…purposeful. I like that word…purposeful. Full of purpose. Do you ever wake up and sit down at your computer and just start hacking away at your email? Do you then open your calendar and start mindlessly going through the checklist? Then do you pick up the phone and just start returning messages…making calls that need to be made…doing all the stuff you’re supposed to do? When I think about it, many days are like this. It doesn’t feel important. It doesn’t register high on the Richter scale. The tasks have no purpose. We call this “going through the motions”. Now, I love to get things done. Check things off. I am driven to accomplish. But accomplish what? I gain satisfaction in just doing “stuff” but lately there is just too much to do and me…myself…and I…just can’t get it all done! When I’m lost in the tasks themselves, I forget all about the “Why”. The big picture. I find myself asking…”What big picture?” It helps to be married to a “big picture” guy. Someone who is always asking about the reasoning behind the task I’m doing. The next statement is usually something like…”you need a system for that so someone else can do it.” How true. The system can take the list…make it predictable…pass it on to someone else…and free my soul to go back to the things that motivate and energize me! Back to the things that matter. Back to the Big Why. Back to the Purpose. To be full of Purpose….we can’t be full of the Meaningless. Give the “stuff” to someone else. Give the Purposeful back to yourself. Live the day, not just for any reason…but for the right reason. Get up in the morning and ask yourself, “What are my goals? What do I need to do this month, week, day…right now…to move me closer to that goal?” If the laundry…the yard work…the filing…the organizing…won’t help reach that goal, then get someone else to do it. When you leverage the less important…it’s not that you won’t be busy…you will just be free of “busy work”. It won’t make your day less “full”…it will simply give you your time back…so that you can make your day purpose “full”. I’m speaking staight to myself and myself…better listen…or I will wakeup one day and realize that I’ve worked myself to exhaustion…and did it on purpose…because I knew better!

I try so hard to find a routine I can stick to…but something always gets in the way! Like today. I had a plan to finally get up and exercise (like I’m supposed to) but found out late last night that I would be taking my son to the airport very early. So…up and out and the crack of dawn…to the airport…now at the office…and it’s 7:30am. What now? So many choices. The vending machine for a granola bar…start early on leads and database entry…clean the office…put my head down for a quick nap….or? I remembered posting on my Facebook over the weekend that I missed writing and was hoping I could find a solitary moment to be able to write an entry or at least pull some thoughts together. Well…this is the perfect time. I guess the topic that comes to mind to write about is how to view the “unplanned” events that come our way? We have day planners…organizers…to do lists…calenders…SO many places to record and note what is supposed to happen in our lives. If you are like me…then you must use one of these systems and be diligent about it. It helps keep your mind organized on all the “stuff” that it can’t remember on it’s own. But in being a dedicated “day planner”…I’ve also learned that it can cause me to become constantly frustrated, irritated and intolerant of the things that I didn’t give my permission to show up in my day. But what if God has purposed specific events to impose on my day…for a reason? What if God purposes for my car to break down…or my client to cancel or my contract to fall apart…or a myriad of other things that I don’t consider as positive or helpful in getting my goals accomplished? What do I think about that? Am I thankful anyway? Do I truly believe the well known saying…”I may not know what the future holds…but I know Who holds the future”? I need to remember…(especially today because it’s totally off “schedule” already) that my plan…my agenda…is actually just an intention. It might be well intentioned…but it’s  just a map. I’m one person on the road of life. I am not the road itself. I am walking daily on it and though I get in the “car” and head in a direction…it doesn’t mean that there won’t be a “detour” sign somewhere up ahead. And if there is…and I have to turn left instead of right…I’m still on the road. It’s assuring to know that as long as we keep the destination in focus…we’ll get there. We may hear the navigator say “recalculating” several times…but we need to appreciate the benefits that may come our way because we’ve been made to take a different street. We may meet a special person that will impact us…we may learn something new because we are traveling down unfamiliar territory…and we may find out later that our lives were protected from disaster that was waiting just up ahead! All in all we should make a plan and do our best…but always remain thankful for the road before us. It may be the road “well-worn” or it may be the “road less traveled”…but we can rest assured that it’s the road God has purposed for us. For “the Lord is our Shepherd…we shall not want. He makes us lie down in green pastures. He leads us beside the still waters. He restores our soul. Yes, though we may walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we will fear no evil for He is with us. His rod and His staff will comfort us.” I love this passage..these verses…and they help me with my perspective when life seems to reel out of control. So today I’m going to try and remember that if circumstances don’t “work out” like I envisioned or if the road detours without my permission…I will just write down in my planner: “This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it!”

I was talking with an friend and fellow agent this week about the disappointments that come our way…often right behind a great success. It never seems to fail. In fact…when you feel like you’re on top of the world, that’s just about the time you can expect to fall off! The mountains and the valleys…a part of life for everyone. We can’t change it…so I guess we just have to figure out how to think about it…how to feel about it…and how to respond. One approach is to always expect the worst to happen…so you will never be disappointed. This mental habit will suck all the joy out of life while training you to always live in anticipation of tragedy and hardship. The other approach I see out there, is to always expect nothing but success…happiness…total fulfillment…cloud 9 all the time. I struggle with this approach as well because it’s just not reality. Life isn’t that way and I don’t see the benefit of trying to “trick” your mind into believing an illusion. That won’t create the true strength of character…strength of mind…and strength of will necessary to stand firm…regardless of the happenings around you. Instead of telling yourself to expect great circumstances all the time…tell yourself to expect great outcomes! Build up your mental muscle. Train…like the military does…for every possible situation you could face…both good and bad. Be prepared. Telling yourself to expect only “pie in the sky”…doesn’t help you eat the vegetables sitting on your plate! And remember…the things we often avoid…are often the things we need. So if pie is served…enjoy every bite. But if vegetables are the course of the day…learn to appreciate the nutrition they provide…knowing they will actually do more for your growth…than the desert ever will!